Relationship Killers

Hey Lovelies,

I hope everyone had a great weekend! Has anyone been watching the NBA Finals? I personally am going for the Golden State Warriors, so I was very happy with the game last night. Anywho, as on a typical Monday post, I am going to present a survey dealing with relationships and/or spirituality, and give my commentary on the results.

Whether in a spiritual relationship or not, no one is exempt from negative forces and mahem from potentially entering into your relationship. I wondered what were the top reasons that couples don’t last, based on a male perspective. Askmen.com conducted a survey in which they identified the Top 10 Relationship Killers and the list is as follows:

1. ) Cheating
2.) Dependence/Independence
3.) Moving to Fast
4.) The Past
5.) Different Goals
6.) High Comfort Levels
7.) Annoying Habits
8.) Persistent Suitors
9.) Life Stresses
10.) Friends and Family

I think the common thread throughout this list is respect. I believe you must respect your partner and always be honest with them. If you respect your partner you will hesitate to allow outside voices or bodies penetrate your love, no pun intended. It is also important to be with someone that has similar expectations for their life, as you do. I believe working towards common goals to better your lives as a couple, or potentially a family, will strongly unite two people.

So many problems are encountered throughout life, and as you mature it is important to categorize their importance. No one is perfect and everyone will do some things that will annoy you or get on your nerves. Some individuals are too quick to give up on a relationship because of a petty annoyances, such as stinky feet or snoring. However, there are some valid annoyances that can alter your livelihood, such as smoking. Take your time and get to know someone, and all their quirky habits.

I take much pride in being an independent black woman. While there is nothing wrong with having a man, or woman, take care of you, I believe it is very important to also have your “own”. I have seen countless women, many I know personally, allow someone to completely take care of them financially. Some men would later use this as an excuse to be excessively controlling or even psychically and mentally abusive. Also, if the relationship does not work out, they are kicked out, disrespected, and left with nothing. I never want to become so dependent upon a person that without them, I am desolate. While it may be nice in the moment, it can be unwise long-term without guaranteed security such as marriage without a prenup.

It can be very difficult to be in love with someone that your family and friends do not like. The day-to-day stress of a relationship is challenging enough to have the added pressure of your loved ones spewing negativity towards your relationship. I have seen relationships be successful with and without family approval, however, those without it do seem to suffer to some extent. When one is faced with this situation, I would evaluate if your partner is truly worth the drama and stress. If so, you may have to cut ties with a friend or two if cannot keep their hateful energy to themselves because unfortunately some people truly just don’t want you to be happy.

 

There is no such thing as the perfect relationship, but distancing oneself from potential weaknesses or triggers is wise in prevention of disrespecting your partner or spouse. As adults, most people know right from wrong. Whether or not someone does the right thing is simply a choice. While the alternative may seem to be more fun in the moment, one has to asses the potential cost of this pleasure or instant gratification. A fantasy may be presented to you in a persistent suitor. This person may seem to be a dream, but one has to decide if a dream is worth losing their current reality.

Ultimately, respect your partner, both physically and mentally. If you are unhappy in your relationship and can’t seem to compromise, just leave. However, I do also believe that if you leave a good man or woman for no reason, you will attract some negative relationship karma, potentially placing you on the opposite end in the future. While there are many things and circumstances to consider, at the end of the day life is just too short to be unhappy when you have the ability to change your circumstance. Not just for yourself, but for your partner as well because you both deserve to be joyously in love.

With Love,

Miss T

2 thoughts on “Relationship Killers”

  1. Great write Beautiful One.
    I think one lesson Ive learned is knowing what you want and being radically honest about what that is, with yourself first and foremost, and with your potential partner. Also making sure that you are ready willing and able to sustain the type of relationship you want and Loving yourself all the way through.
    Thankfor sharing your light. Keep them coming Ms. T

    Liked by 2 people

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